Thursday, June 23, 2005

Sekhmet1

Sesa Woruban: Greetings Sekhmet1

Sesa Woruban: Question 1. Many are familiar with the Black experience in the United States, describe your experience growing up as an African in the UK?
Sekhmet1: My experience growing up as an African in the United Kingdom has been ….strange to say the least. Most importantly because we were not taught or encouraged to acknowledge our African heritage. We would rather associate with our “island”. Yet our African heritage permeates all aspects of “island” life. Indoctrination teaches us to ignore it.

Sekhmet1: My siblings and I were in somewhat of a dichotomy as one parent was from Grenada, another from Jamaica. We were seen as “half breeds”. Amazing as it sounds, so it was. Island rivalry existed in my very early childhood – and it was all about the Jamaicans. Now I recognise that Jamaicans - Fanti, Mandingo, etc - were the warrior tribes. They served their purpose especially in the early 50s, through the 60s when blacks were being continually attacked in the UK.

Sekhmet1: My earliest memory of racism was when I was around 5 years old. I cannot for the life of me remember where we were coming from. I know it wasn’t Church, but we had on our Sunday finest – I remember wearing my yellow dress and petticoat which was a stiff as a board most vividly – we were all waiting at the bus stop, Daddy, Mummy and the five of us, like doorsteps.

Sekhmet1: We all put our hand out for the bus to stop. Excited children that we were. The bus slowed down, we moved to get on, the driver accelerated, but not before verbally abusing my parents I have never ever seen my father in such a rage and frustration. That was the moment I knew I was black. I knew I was different. I felt my father’s rage and frustration, a five year old girl in a yellow dress who wanted to fight for and with him.

Sekhmet1: Fast forward circa 1975. Be Coming! – Afro puffs and granny shoes (smile), the Ital reigned. Angela Davis, the black panthers, Rastafarism and Robert Nester Marley suffused the consciousness of first generation black born in UK. Revolution was almost tangible. It was time. We learned the lesson. It was not about inter-island rivalry. We were being treated the same, irrespective of island, we had to unite. The Caucasian saw black and white. Period.
That same year, for an English assignment I wrote a poem, the first line was ..
I did not ask to be born in this land I did not ask to be black but I am…
(I wish I could remember the rest, save to say last line was spirited hallowed call for unity) Anyway, I did not receive a credit for it, but a detention. I was told I was being disruptive to the class. I did the detention.

Sekhmet1: Second floor of the main school building is black. At break times all the black girls in the school congregate on second floor, like an unspoken rule. It just is. Out of approx 1,200 girls, 400 are black. We hang out on second floor. I longed for break times when at school. I was an “A” stream student. The token black. Sitting with people like Penelope (don’t call me Penny) Jarrett whose father was a doctor and others whose parents were professionals. My group had the ethos of hard work and were told and encouraged to go to university. I was discouraged in every single way. My lessons were full of racist teachers talking of people from the “colonies” to a class full of WASPs. They had no expectations of me, I would say, some were quite affronted that I was in that A1 stream. Somehow I maintained my grades. My sanctuary was the break time. I hung with my people. The only other people on second floor were the first years (11yr old) [freshman] and the “bad” white girls.

Sekhmet1: I mention all this to give you a little background, for this is one of the incidents which shaped my life.

Sekhmet1: Everyone congregated in the corridors on second floor, me and a few friends standing not far from the toilets. Some white girls been smoking in the toilets, we can smell it and so can the dinner ladies. They patrol the corridors at break times. People with no real authority, but would dearly like to have some! They enter the toilet and confront the white girls who deny smoking and when asked for their names giving “Gary Glitter”, “David Bowie” and the like.

Sekhmet1: Don’t know what got in to me this day I felt strange all day. I woke up feeling, kind of out of sorts. I was angry and at the same time sad. I didn’t laugh when the girls gave their names, in fact they annoyed me. Anyway, little first years running up and down the corridor like excited rabbits – Sandra (friend) puts out her foot and splat! One of them goes over. She drops in tears by my feet. Bending down to help the girl, at that precise moment, the dinner lady after being totally frustrated by white girl in toilets, turns and vents her rage on me. The woman’s finger was practically in my eye ball, accusing me of hurting the young girl. I asked her quietly at first. Take your finger out of my eye. I admit it, I did get louder. I asked her about 4 times to remove her finger. Even Sandra said to her it wasn’t me. She refused to hear.

Sekhmet1: There has been a few times in my life when just for an instant, time freezes. This was one of those moments. I punched her, just the once. I couldn’t help it. And hell broke loose.
Her sidekick started screaming. Chaos ensued. The corridor was in uproar. I don’t know how they arrived so quickly, but three male teachers were charging down the corridor, arm locked me and spun me around against the wall. It was surreal, but I fought them. I felt all powerful, but not really connected to my body.

Sekhmet1: I refused to move from the corridor to the main office but eventually my tutor came and talked to me in a reasonable manner and I went to the office. Our headmistress, Mrs Zacherwich (Witch as we called her – or Jewish Bitch as I know) did not like black people. Every black girl in the school knew it. We were there because the government said we had to be. And we were getting political on her. She tried to ban afros! How the hell can you ban hair??

Sekhmet1: My parents worked very hard, my father working days and my mother working nights. Mother slept whilst we were at school. Zacerwitch woke my mother from her sleep and told her that she was going to have me arrested for assault.

Sekhmet1: I shall never forget the look in my mother’s eyes when she entered the office. My heart pounded. Such disappointment reflected back at me. Not anger, nor rage as I had anticipated. That look pained me. Zacerwitch related her story, I related mine. I knew she understood, my blue black mother who expected so much of her children but was powerless and somewhat uninformed of her choices. I watched my mother weep and I wept too.
I was escorted out of that school by two police officers, one either side of me, my mother walking and weeping behind. It seemed like all 1,200 girls and teachers were at every available window of the school, waving, as I was frogmarched out of the school. The police station was directly opposite the school – Zacerwitch has always used it as a threat for the students – This was the very first time, that scare tactic was actually implemented. I was put in a cell, intimidated by the police and not allowed to talk to my mother for what seemed like hours. I was 14 years old.
Initially I was suspended from school and charged with (GBH) grievous bodily harm. The following week a incident occurred involving white girl who held a knife to one of the art teachers (male) throat. This girl was given a cup of tea by Zacerwitch and told to calm down.
Some people who had witnessed what happened on second floor, came forward in my defence. Mr Wong (the only black male teacher in the school) came forward and spoke on my behalf as I had a very good academic record. It fell on deaf ears. Within six months he had been removed from the school.

Sekhmet1: I was subsequently expelled. Not only expelled but Zackerwich started a campaign. She wrote to every secondary school and “advised” them not to take me. My parents not knowing the judicial system were perplexed by it. I am one who slipped through the net. I have no academic validation – save for a computer course which I paid for. I left Caucasian “schooling” at 14. I am self-taught. My love of reading sustained me. It still does.
It was the Black Woman who continued my education. I was not allowed back into the school system, so I lied about my age and started work. Having no qualifications I woke at 4.30am to start work in the kitchens at the post office headquarters. I washed pots as big as bathtubs and I learned. The entire staff consisted of black women whom I consider to be the wisest, strongest women on earth and their consulting rooms are in the kitchens.

Sekhmet1: When I was sixteen I was of legal (recognisable) age to work. I got a job with LCCR – Lewisham Council for Community Relations as an office junior. My parents were happy. I was happy. For a little while. It was there I felt and saw the unjustness of racism. Pensioners terrorised with excrement through their doors and their life made hell by their white neighbours. Helpless and defenceless people trusting that the “law” would help them. The police did nothing when called. Wanting to bust some heads and not having any heads to bust! My black brothers arrested under the infamous “SUS” law. Suspicion! That’s it Suspicion. Of what I ask? Answer = of being black. Once you are black police can stop and search you under SUS law - deliberately made so vague it covered a multitude. It was unadulterated harassment. A black man could not walk 200 yards without police swooping down and stopping and being searched under the SUS law in some areas.

Sekhmet1: The pressure cooker exploded in 1981. A sixteenth birthday party was going on. At least 50 people were in the front room of the Ruddock’s house on New Cross Road. Petrol was poured through the letter box and ignited by a racist arsonist. I lost school friends in the New Cross fire. A party which I was due to attend, but didn’t go to due to the lack of a baby sitter. Thirteen young Africans died. Many were injured, some still bearing the scars today. No one has ever been bought to justice for this attack. Tensions were extremely high amongst the community. Its no wonder there was a riot. It had been simmering for a long time and was overdue. It exploded in Brixton. Being first generation born here, we did not have the restrictive view of some of our parents. We were not as conciliatory and demanded more. We wanted justice. Demanded justice! Burn Babylon, yes burn it Rass!


Sesa Woruban: Question 2. When did your family arrive in the UK and what were the circumstances that brought them there?
Sekhmet1: After WWII, Britain needed rebuilding. High unemployed and poverty existed amongst most, if not all of the islands who were under colonial rule. Their benefactor had been preoccupied with the war. Islanders lost whatever jobs they had connected with the war. Times were extremely hard. People had families to feed. For centuries Britain had ruled them and they missed the nipple at which they used to suckle. From about 1948 onwards there was a concerted campaign in the Caribbean Islands and India. “The Mother Country” needs You. You will be welcomed with open arms. We’ve had a connection with you people for hundreds of years, come live the good life. And Yes, the streets are paved with gold. The British men who returned from war, refused to do what they called the “menial” jobs. The white woman was also, emancipated for she worked whilst her man was at war.

Sekhmet1: My mother arrived here in 1952, my father shortly after. They courted a while and were married in 1956. By this time four of their five years had already elapsed. Most people from the Caribbean came here with a five year plan. Work, earn some money and return home, for they did not class England as home. It was an alien world to most. Grey cold, humourless, people who looked with contempt at blacks. They took the jobs they were offered, mainly in the public service industry. They drove the buses and the trains. The hospitals and the health care sector, the infrastructure of the country.

Sekhmet1: Many many people left their families in the Caribbean, thinking that they would work at few years and return home. There came a time when people had to send for their families. There was a constant influx of new blood all throughout my childhood. It was the children who were breaking down the barriers. Island rivalry was slowly dissipating.
I often wondered why my parents would leave their stunningly beautiful islands to come to a place so cold and foreign to them. Both told me the same thing. They could see no future. Everyone was looking for work. Times were hard, families were growing. My father and uncles left their island and spent some time in Cuba looking for work before coming to the UK. They needed to work like all the people from the islands needed to work. And so, the breathtaking sunrises were exchanged for murkiness of the fog, the kiss of the sun for the chill of the wind as hostile as the people who inhabited the land.

Sekhmet1: My view is that the life blood of the islands was severed with the Exodus of the 50s and 60s. Only the very old or the very young were left on the islands. It caused severe trauma. How can you function with a whole generation – male and female – missing? The life force had migrated to a place they were the reality did not live up to the expectations, but we adapt and we survive. It’s not about the location as some left from the UK and continued their journey to the US and Canada. Africans are everywhere, all still suffering under the system of white supremacy. There is a time and a place for everything. Perhaps we needed to heed the systematic and compartmentalised views of our adversary. We have to learn. I say, with confidence, everything serves its purpose.


Sesa Woruban: Question 3. What are some examples of how living among Europeans has influenced Black British Culture.
Sekhmet1: I’ve been wracking my brain, and cannot come up with how Europeans influenced black British culture? I cannot recall anything black culture has embraced- only, maybe, chips! I grew up with a strictly Caribbean flavour. What I did surmise, I was not very comfortable with. The only person to benefit or who has influenced black culture in Britain is the white woman. She has made herself so attainable, black men ran after her like flies on dodo.
If today you were to take a straw poll, of say 10 black families, 8 out of 10 of them would have some member of their family, with a white woman. Very sad, but very true. I have four brothers, two of which are with white women, two who are not. One’s wife I could thump down, the other I can bear.

Sekhmet1: The white man came “out” of his closet and the wench lacked choices. She needed to procreate. Her fantasy could now be turned into a reality. The black man saw social acceptance and advancement. A little brown baby is a highly desirable accessory for some. For many black women, they watched and endured. Some “bore” up too much and wore themselves out. Some gave up without a fight, and some said, if you can’t beat them join them. Yet some grabbed the brothers by the balls, squeezed it, blessed it and prayed for their Godshipness.


Sesa Woruban: Question 4. What are some examples of how Afrikan Culture has influenced Black British Culture?
Sekhmet1: Afrikan culture has influenced not only British culture but worldwide culture for hundreds of years. Afrikan culture is the “pulse” of this planet. It permeates every culture and is the foundation of most. Our parents carried it with them and passed it on to us. Our music our food our spiritual sense of being, no matter how we manifested it. I don’t feel British. And I don’t know what Black British is. The bearer of a red passport? A generation never knowing or seeing “elders” perhaps, for the disconnection worked both ways. Those left in the Islands did not get to see or greet their grandchildren who lived in foreign lands, some for many years, some not at all. A healthy, functional and productive society needs all the generations in order to oil the cyclic wheels.

Sekhmet1: I feel, that this strategy of separation is utilised most effectively by people who are detrimental to our health as Africans. It is a tool others use for control and manipulation. They do not change their tactics, for they have been using the same ones for hundreds of years. Separate one from another, for it will take them a while to recover. In the meantime ….
In my humble opinion, Britain never really had a “culture” they had a class system, aristocracy, middle class and lower and all aspiring to obtain the unobtainable. If you were born into the middle classes, no matter what you achieved, you could never be an aristocrat. Afrikans didn’t even warrant a category unless it was with the livestock. Their prejudice is in their genes. There are some aspects of afrikan culture that will never be fully grasped by the European due to their compartmentalized thought process. We need to stop forcing square pegs into round holes and leave the European to his own. Be who we are, not who we were told we should be.


Sesa Woruban: Question 5. Where does the name Sekhmet come from?
Sekhmet1: The more I learn the less I know for it seems that Sekhmet is one of the oldest deities, from whence she came, no one knows. Sekhmet is kemetian for “power or might”. She is closely associated with Amun Ra (she wears the solar disc and the Crown of upper Egypt) and she is of the Memphis triad, Ptah (her consort) Sekhmet and Nefer-Tem (son). I am of the view that Sekhmet is and was essential to creation. She is that which turns the inanimate to the animate. The power that animates every living creation and every universal thing. I like to think of her as pure unadulterated “potential”, that spark which sets off a course of events.
Sekhmet is usually depicted as a black skinned woman with the head of a lion. The Goddess of destruction, death and wisdom, yet she is also the Goddess of nurturing and healing. Mythology has her as the vengeful eye of Ra. The Great Mother who will protect her offspring passionately for she has a righteous indignation. She was called upon in battle as she was called upon to fight disease. She is Bast, she is Hathor and she has a thousand other names. She is the Kundalini energy, the coiled serpent or “Shakti” of an individual. The Hindu for Shakti is a direct derivative of Sekhmet. Sekhmet is also the protectoress of the divine order and shields the Gods from evil. Like a lioness, she fiercely protects what she loves and what she is responsible for. She has always existed, for without her, there would be no creation.


Sesa Woruban: Question 6. What personal significance does the name Sekhmet hold to you? Sekhmet1: A few years ago, I asked Auset to do a birth chart for me. She came up with the Goddess Sekhmet as being the deity I am most closely associated. Sekhmet’s festival of purification in on my earth day. I was not that happy with Auset’s deductions. Sekhmet was portrayed and vengeful, autocratic and negative. I did not see my self as such so I dismissed the name. I knew I could not stay as Diva, as I’m a pretender “Diva” although I am Divine. I do not seek acclaim. I do not seek the attention. I do not need the adulation of the crowd. I would rather sit in the background quietly for it is there I learn so much more and blossom. To grow I needed new clothes. Sekhmet’s name called to me. Adopting the name also made me examine aspects of myself which I had not looked upon in a long time. Yes, I have a rage and a fury which I have summoned but only a few times in my life as the intensity was, somewhat overwhelming. I look on it as passion. For I feel things intensely, profoundly and sometimes with such empathy that I am wounded. There are aspects of Sekhmet’s characteristics that I wholly embrace. I also acknowledge Sekhmet’s loyalty – this girl has got your back – I love fiercely and loyally. Would I kill for my family – without the slightest hesitation.
Sekhmet to me, at this stage of my journey, is the “potentiality” for me to step boldly into my Godessness and create what I will. Anuk Sekhmet. Of all the deities, Sekhmet is somewhat of an enigma. Generally, the true essence of her has been misunderstood and she resonates something within me. With hindsight, I feel that she has always been there with me for I have always felt somewhat of an “odd bod”, always a free spirit. Now I know this “potential” is the life force of creation. I embrace it wholeheartedly.


Sesa Woruban: Question 7. In your opinion, what is the current state of Afrikan women worldwide?
Sekhmet1: We are maimed hurt and stagnant. We are dysfunctional to the point where we are suspicious of each other and view each other as “rivals” and adversaries. This in turn implies a contest of sorts Who or what are we “contending” for? Indulge me when I say the Afrikan man.

Sekhmet1: After generations of abuse, our psychological welfare is severely damaged. The African woman who adored her man – for he was a walking talking God – watched him be defeated and humiliated. He could no longer protect her or his children. So she grew stronger in order to secure the future of those she bore. 90% of African males have a strong and determined mother or a prominent female figure which affected their lives in someway. It is what hones them into being the men they were supposed to be. The African male will always want to take his rightful place. Rightfully so and as it should be but we are a people in need of healing.

Sekhmet1: The African woman had to compete with the blonde blue-eyed wench which some males aspired to, negating the African woman to someplace of “lesser” importance. Consequently if you are told that you are less worthy, eventually you will view yourself something of “lesser” value. Some, tolerated behaviour patterns that were totally unacceptable to her psyche. But they bore it. African women are notorious for “bearing up”.!
The African woman is tired, dang wore out! Maintaining the survival of your race is not an easy thing to do anytime, anywhere. So, recognising her need, she has substituted “Jesus”, “Allah”, “Buddah” for solace instead of her man.

Sekhmet1: Confused, wary and suspicious we shoot poisonous arrows at each other - seeking to hurt you before you hurt me. It’s a self preservation mechanism. Something we have not quite learned to let go of and which they system in which we live vigorously maintains.


Sesa Woruban: Question 8. How can using the concept of Goddesshood improve any problems that Afrikan women are facing?
Sekhmet1: If we viewed each other as the Goddesses that we are and had and firm overstanding of African spiritual ethics, we would heal our entire race and instantly erase hundreds of years of systematic mental abuse.

Sekhmet1: Sisterhood (Goddesshood) maintained us for millennia. Your sister is not your adversary. Only when we learn the lesson will it change. I want to see my sisters, loved, happy and blessed, for her happiness ultimately affects mine, as our paths are intertwined as African women - that is the principle which structured our society. If I treat my sister like a Goddess, her behaviour would become reflective of the title, for you are what your subconscious believes it is. Every afrikan woman knows at least ONE other woman who they could call a true “sister” (although not linked by blood). That means, there are a multitude of good African sisters around. Why cannot we connect? Dysfunction, mistrust, envy and a lack of trust in each other (self-hate) makes some aspire to be something they are not. The Caucasian woman. We adopt her hair (chemical processing), bleaching creams, and her distrustful attitude of womankind. Little do we realise that her ultimate goal is to be us. For she pays a surgeon for the lips, hips and booty of an African. We need to love ourselves again in order that the Goddess within can shine.


Sesa Woruban: Question 9. What is the importance of balancing reason and emotion?
Sekhmet1: Most people – including me (smile) – sometimes speak “off the top of their heads”, mouth running at 30 mph. That is pure emotion. Emotions can sometimes cloud one’s reasoning ability as it is a more instantaneous response. Emotional responses are just that, emotion. The message being lost within the emotion. People hear, anger, joy, tension – not necessarily the message. The left side of the brain control’s one’s reasoning (logic) ability – the right one’s emotions. To make a reasoned response, one should “detach” the emotion from the response. The “pause” which it takes to detach, usually brings about a new sense of clarity. To balance left/right linear (reason/emotion) we need to breathe before speaking.


Sesa Woruban: Question 10. How can balancing reason and emotion assist Afrikan people in acheiving mental and spiritual freedom?
Sekhmet1: In my opinion, afrikans are predominantly right linear based thinkers. We are emotional people – just take a look at a group of African people having a conversation. We animate our conversations with gestures, arms waiving, hands on hips, roll of the eyes, and gwarfs! (don’t watch ma spelling - smile). Left linear thinkers can hold a conversation with no emotional attachment at all. We have all seen and heard them.

Sekhmet1: In order to achieve mental and spiritual freedom we need to recognise our adversary’s thought process. Cold, logical and devious. It is not natural to the African to think in this way. Of course, many have adopted this process but I would go back to the square peg in the round hole syndrome. To achieve balance, Ma’at should be practiced regularly the virtues of which are truth, righteousness, harmony, balance, reciprocity, justice and order.


Sesa Woruban: Thank you sis Sekhmet1.
Sekhmet1: Thank you.

2 comments:

olblackmagic said...

Wow, sister Sekhmet1 thank you for sharing some of your story! I feel like i have a better perspective with which to view you, as an African sister who resides in Britain. Sesa part of the credit is yours as well, cause your questions elicited the enlightening responses. Diva, you have an amazing story and background and i have an even greater respect and sense of kindred spirit with you right now, sis! I enjoyed the post, htpu to the goddesses Sesa and Sekhmet!!!

Seshat said...

olblackmagic, I didn't write all the questions myself this time. Realusion helped me (the other contributor to this site). Both of us have known Sekhmet for years and we had to put our heads together to pull this one off.

I too enjoyed getting insight into Diva(Sekhmet). I really wanted to know about her side of the story when it comes to our "open and bitter enemy" and their allies. They are the same, everywhere!

Thanks Sis!